Leading through emotions

Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Through my career I’ve spent lots of time working with people in leadership positions and much of that time helping them be better at their role. Recently I’ve been asked to provide leadership coaching in a more formal setting so I've been giving the subject a lot of thought and engaging in many conversations.

The initial step has been to find a good definition of leadership. Anyone who has worked on their career or studied the success of individuals and organizations will have found many definitions. The Covid pandemic has placed a premium on good leadership, for the welfare of citizens from a physical and mental health perspective, as well as economic wellbeing. Geopolitical upheavals are also providing a crucible for observing leadership in action with perhaps even more dire consequences possible for some. And of course, climate change is a third global calamity grinding away at the strategies and resources of organizations.

While events and situations call out to leaders, societal changes seem to have the potential to modify our expectations of how leaders can be effective. One thinks of greater transparency in thought and deed, more collaboration, leveraging purpose.

Perhaps the greatest challenge we all have is the amount of information at hand, and our willingness to either make sense of it ourselves or look to others. Do we want to be led, or do we want to choose our own path and influence those around us? As the philosopher Francis Fukuyama observes, “relevance” is one of the greatest motivators of human spirit and we seem to be caught in the paradox of greater personal reach but less personal influence.

Taking all this into context, the KISS principle seems to be a good place to start: “Leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act toward achieving a common goal.” (mvorganizing.org

Nelson Mandela

There are any number of additional modifiers to supplement this definition – values, principles, styles, etc. When evaluating leadership we play the ball as well as the player.

Boiling this definition down a little further I focus on the word “act”. According to the definition this is what leaders want people to do. Actions can follow decisions or be instinctive. It seems leaders understand people make hundreds of micro decisions each day – what to wear, what to eat, who to speak with, what to budget for, what to do next weekend … and on balance would like some of those decisions to affect the common goals that are the leader’s focus. It could be that leaders also want to leverage people’s instinctiveness, however this likely creates a less predictable outcome and so they may spend time creating an environment that is safe and in which people can decide rather than react.

So how do people make decisions? The psychologist Michael Levine observes “It is said that emotions drive 80% of the choices Americans make, while practicality and objectivity only represent about 20% of decision-making.”

Mother Theresa

This seems to be a well known phenomena and not limited to just Americans! And it is central to the leader’s journey.

Emotions as a driver of decion making and the art of influencing groups of people sets up an interesting x/y relationship that can guide aspiring leaders.

This “simple” graphic helps leaders to create a personal roadmap for their journey.

The Roman numerals provide aspirational levels of leadership performance. The “x” axis describes emotional states and degrees of freedom for making decisions rather than reacting instinctually (greener is better). The “y” axis describes the scope of people the leader is focused on. At level “I” the leader is focused on their own emotional state and their ability to make good decisions. Most executive development seems to focus on this area, and it is obviously a good place to start! An individual moving horizontally along the “x” axis is likely to positively impact others. An individual holding at “O” at the bottom left is likely quite unhappy and not providing much positive leadership. Hence the adage “Be kind to yourself”.

The next step can be a big leap for some. Thinking about someone close – a spouse, dependant, work colleague or subordinate – and their emotional state, and how to help them move along the “x” axis away from “O”. There are trade-offs to navigate here – how deeply to become involved with this person, how to determine their current emotional state and in which circumstances, what levers are available to help them move, etc. For some this is an easy “art” to practice, for others it seems to be unfamiliar territory. The good news is most of us have the powers of observation to understand at some level what is going on with this next person in our life, as well as the self-reflection from being kind to ourselves to help nudge this person in the right direction. And so why would leaders make the decision to act on these observations? Hopefully by moving to a better emotional state personally they have the mental and emotional energy to engage the next “level” of human interaction – that is if they take their leadership journey seriously.

Malala Yousafza

After a series of interactions with those close to a leader, the next step is influencing “them” on the way to level “III”. Here it can be important to understand leadership groups. In some circumstances people may rely on one individual to make sense of the situation and motivate action, but usually people look to a leader as well as those in an associated leadership group. This can be for consistency (think parents and their children), confirmation (a professor and a tutor) or further sense making (an artist and a guide or interpreter). At this level the leader is helping the leadership group move along the “x” axis, and therefore have a positive impact on the emotions and actions of the organization. A spouse provides a complement and the family outing is a happier one, a colleague supports a point of view and the management meeting reaches consensus which is positively communicated. This concept of a leadership group – formal or informal – is important for a leader to develop leverage across a broader cohort of actors making micro decisions that affect the organisation.

Most of us can think of leaders who demonstrated level “IV”, at least for some period of time and perhaps a few at level “V” that managed to inspire large populations – I think about Gandhi and the power of “servant leadership”.

Mahatma Gandhi

Notwithstanding a simple framework there are many challenges for leaders as they work to inspire themselves and the individuals and groups they work with. Each roadmap is unique to the leader and their circumstance, but a firm focus on the emotions of those in roles of making decisions that affect the group – and that’s everyone inside the organisation and many outside of it as well – pays significant dividends.